Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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