I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
