You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
sex in a hospital.. check
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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