I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
