I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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