Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize