bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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