She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize