We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
These tits shall not be calmed
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
