Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
