yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
