that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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