I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
