I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
