Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
