the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
