but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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