Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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