i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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