We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
