One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
