You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
