she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
