Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
