her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
