My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize