If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize