just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
