Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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