Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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