My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
