I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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