She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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