I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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