he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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