Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
