I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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