girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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