I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
