The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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