Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
