dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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