weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
