He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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