what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
