I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
