I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize