He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
