all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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