One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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