is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
this boner is exhausting
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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