I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize