If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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