what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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