All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
