Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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