you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I've blown a few things in my day
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
