i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
