Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
