you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
