We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
