She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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