Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
