I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
