Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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