No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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