When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
