Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Are we still banned from the library?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
